When we hold to a false image of ourselves and live in a fear of losing it or live in a discontent state and are scared that the world would know of it, this asserts our inner insecurities.
Why was Shreya insecure?
Mr. Winnie was Shreya’s favorite soft toy. She couldn’t bear a fur missing from the bear. Sherya was a six years old adorable girl, for her Mr. Winnie was more than a toy. From home to the park, from car to bus, from snow to sand Mr. Winnie was by her side all the time. Her sun rose and set with Mr. Winnie.
Once she got busy while playing with her friends in the park and forgot Mr. Winnie on a bench. She cried hard, luckily, her dad found him and brought him back home, and the lost smile is back on Shreya’s face. Now she would not leave Mr. Winnie alone for even a second, she would sit in the park with him and would just look at other children playing and enjoying. Though she wanted to play with them Mr. Winnie’s safety was a bigger concern for her. She would never allow her friends to play with him as she feared they will damage him. The thought of being separated from the toy would shake her core.
Then one day when Shreya was at school and her mother had gone to the market, Shreya’s father was at home to inspect the housemaid, who had come with her daughter, Meena. Meena was one year younger than Shreya. Meena saw Mr. Winnie relaxing on the sofa. Meena got gravitated towards Mr. Winnie. Meena started playing with him. Her sparkling eyes accompanied by a zillion dollars smile, filled Shreya’s father with love and compassion for the little girl. He gifted the toy to Meena and she took Mr. Winnie to her place.
Shreya returned home from school and searched for Mr.Winnie. Here and there everywhere, no sign of Mr. Winnie anywhere. “Where is Mr.Winnie” ? asks Shreya. Mr. Sharma, Shreya’s dad was ready with the answer, “Mr. Winnie needed a clean-up, so I made him visit the laundry. “When will he be back”? Shreya fires the next question to her father. Tomorrow for sure, Mr. Sharma replied unsurely. He had planned to buy a replica of Mr. Winnie.
A day without Mr.Winnie was going to be tough for the little girl. She was heartbroken, Mr. Winnie was not just a toy for her, she was identified with him, and separation from him left her with a sense of incompleteness.
She didn’t go to play with her friends, she was not talking to anyone, didn’t enjoy her favorite dinner.
Shreya came running to her house from the school bus to cuddle the bear but to her disappointment, her wish was not granted. Her dad forgot to buy another teddy bear as he got stuck in some important work. He told Shreya, “Mr. Winnie is not cleaned yet; I will bring him tomorrow”. Oh no! one more day without Mr.Winnie, life was being harsh towards the little girl. Things had not become normal but the high tides are now silent waves. To her parent’s surprise, she picked her doll to play with, which she had forgotten after Mr. Winnie had come into her life.
And again, scolding his memory, Mr. Sharma reaches home. He told Shreya that a final touch is left. Of course, she got upset after hearing his dad’s words but soon she got busy watching her favorite cartoon and in the evening she also went to the park(Without Mr.Winnie) and played with his friends. She didn’t have to worry about the bear; She felt like a free bird flying from slide to swing and from swing to the merry-go-round and she enjoyed it thoroughly after a long time.
And a few more days
Shreya’s parents brought home the twin brother of Mr. Winnie but after observing the positive changes in Shreya’s personality, an outcome of separation from Mr. Winnie, they decided to wait for some time. To her parents, Sherya was now a happier, carefree, receptive and more lively child.
We share the same kind of relationship with our insecurities. We are identified with our fears, self-doubts, and uncertainties, and the thought of losing them brings anxiety to us. We carry our insecurities as inevitable burdens. We want to get rid of it but are scared to handle the freedom we get in return.
How do we act out of our insecurities?
- We go beyond our ethics and values to nurture our insecurities. When someone is insecure about their image in their workplace, they may try to pull down their colleagues to come into the eyes of their boss.
- We get jealous of others’ achievements because of our insecurities.
- We try to magnify ourselves or put down others to combat our insecurities.
- Being insecure within we often refrain from seeking help from others as we mark it as a sign of weakness.
- Children often overrule their parents’ or teachers’ instructions or suggestions to show their superiority, but what they really display is their inner insecurities.
- People fight their insecurities by making others feel low about their achievements and highlighting their failures.
How to deal with our insecurities?
- Accept your insecurities, don’t run away from them.
- Try to figure out the real reasons for being insecure.
- Gather the strength to face all the challenges that come your way in the process of eradicating these reasons.
- Most of the time the reason behind our insecurities is our negative mindset, if we somehow can develop a more positive one and feel complete and content with who we are, we will find our insecurities vanishing gradually.