To be a parent is the best experience of life, but parenting is quite a task.
The relation of a child and parent is an outcome of their perception towards each other and expectations from each other:
Sometimes Parent’s perception of their child are;
And their expectations are;
- Excellent in studies, sports, and extracurricular activities
In the same way, Children also can sometimes perceive their parents as;
However, Children need their parents to be;
Children are not mature enough to reflect on their perceptions or expectations from their parents whether they are right or wrong, but as parents, we can monitor our perceptions of our kids and expectations from them. Sometimes what we perceive about our kids may not be congruent with reality.
Most parents have a habit of comparing their kids with other kids; comparison can have a detrimental effect on a child’s personality. As parents, we have to replace comparison with acceptance. Acceptance is far more important than love and care. You will be able to accept your child for what they are; when you are ready to accept yourself for who you are. Acceptance doesn’t equalize with cease in improvement, as parents we should exert ourselves to make them take a step forward but without the greed of self-glorification and social validation. A child is a gift of God, not our property. The child has come here to live and enjoy life and not to fulfill our incomplete desires. Treat your child with respect, they deserve it as you do. It’s very important to give your child creative freedom for their holistic growth.
Allow your child to make small decisions for themselves, choices of clothes, selecting the colour of their school bag or lunch box. Involve them in making holiday plans, make them actively participate to prepare for any family function. These small things will help in making them independent and boosting their self-confidence. Try to look at things from their perspective it will help you understand them better. Try to be their friend rather than a boss; you don’t share your feelings and emotions with your boss!
A child’s behaviour is influenced by different external factors: parents, teachers, elder siblings, friends, but one factor that plays a significant role in shaping the personality of children is digital media. The type of content they watch and the information they take in affects their thinking pattern and is reflected in their behaviour, hence it’s required that as parents we keep a check on what our kids are watching.
Parents’ prime job is to inculcate good values in their children not just by telling them about the rights and wrongs but by showing these values in their behaviour. When we ask them to be disciplined and follow rules, the same applies to us. When parents are disciplined and non-negotiable with their rules, children eventually become disciplined.
If we make a little effort in trying to understand their perception for us and the people around them and communicate with them more often by sharing our thoughts and listening to their ideas with open ears; we can manifest a healthy relationship by eliminating wrong perceptions and preventing us from having unrealistic expectations from them
There is nothing like good parenting and bad parenting, it’s just that as parents we try to do our best for our children to see them be the best.